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The Apothecary

The following are excerpts from a 29-page document mailed to the SPQR2Gang centre at Calais, Maine, on the 6th March 2022, simply entitled The Apothecary. It is not known who authored the work.

Tortises Isolate Laudanum

The tortis has been said once to be a highly experimental creature, experimenting with many things and many times and many places and many persons. The experimentation of the tortis is not limited to tortoise or tortois (French) colonies of insects, however the colonial manifestation of the tortois is highly precise. The only way that a tortois can capture a colony of insects in one piece is by using the seat of the mansion in the mountains over tonight. Laudanum is a mixture of various chemicals, which has now been isolated by the tortis, but not the tortoise or tortois, only the tortis has been able to make this breakthrough. Scientists always question the importance of these breakthroughs, and this is no exception. The exception to the rule always proves the rule, and this is a rule which proves the exception. The tortoises sometimes manifests as beasts. However, we are yet to see any evidence of the fact that the beluga whale can create piles and piles of ashes outside of the fence area. The water looks dry. It doesn't look because it has no eyes however the eyes always look except for when they are on water because they don't have eyes themselves. 10% powdered opium by weight, according to Wikipedia, I am not sure if they weighed them themselves or if the tortis told them that.

Long Eggs Lactate

This isn't a scientific proposal or news at all. This is ridiculous, how could any form of egg lactate they dont have mammary glands. The only things that have mammary glands are mammals and birds. Birds don't lactate but they still have glands mammary. Remember that eggs cannot technically be long but only wide because of their disproportionate tips. To tip the hat is to present a gift. Eggs are always used in human culture, it's true and its on the list of things basically found in every culture. It would be impossible for a culture not to use eggs because birds and lizards are everywhere, although there are some mammals who make eggs, like humans, I'm not talking about the very small eggs that human women make, but the very large eggs that human men make. The creations of mankind are often beastly and horrible as a sight to God and to animal alike, let them be shown anyway. It is terrible. Truly.